Note: This post is categorized in "EMDR & Recovery" because it was written during the EMDR process. It is also categorized in "Escape Route" because many ex-fundamentalists can probably relate to rapture-anxiety and feeling brainwashed.
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Just heard an awesome podcast on This American Life about an innocent grade-school boy (Cody) who was groomed into believing absurd, futuristic terrors by his cooler, wiser, 30-year-old basketball coach (AJ). AJ was adored by Cody and a few of Cody's friends. His secretive and biblically inspired ideas included computerized chips, marks of the beast, and demons infiltrating human minds. These basketball sessions - sandwiched between daily texts and Skype chats - went on for years, until Cody had full-blown obsessive compulsive disorder and religious trauma syndrome (RTS of C-PTSD). Believing his coach was “a chosen one” here to “teach him the truth,” Cody's mind was living a different universe - the “real” one - where no one could be trusted, not even his family. Talk about #raptureanxiety.
Oh Cody, I totally get you, bro. Indoctrination is such a bitch.
The parent’s of another boy coached by AJ found strange texts and messages on their son’s computer and reported their findings to Cody’s folks. Of course, Cody’s mom and dad prohibited contact with AJ once they found out what was happening. Now 14-years old, Cody was devastated and angry and depressed and confused. He feared Hell and spiritual warfare and the impromptu death of his loved ones. If he's anything like me, he was probably having an identity crisis and felt like Tom Hanks on Cast Away when his volleyball floated away in the ocean.
Oh Cody, I totally get you, bro. Living alone on an island with your own suicidal neurosis is the worst (pour some out for my homie, Wilson).
But more troubling is the fact that it took years of therapy (over $75,000 worth, actually) before Cody was anxiey-free enough to live without the intrusive panic of his own thoughts.
Oh Cody, I totally get you, bro. Therapy is fuckin' expensive; the matrix is deep. And millenials ain't got a leg up (economically speaking).
It took a few years for Cody to realize AJ was a major dick-face, but eventually Cody decided to press charges (he was 17-years old by this time). The episode goes on about this awesomely rectifying moment for Cody once a jury finds AJ guilty for intentionally inducing emotional/mental pain on a minor...or something like that.
Cody received no material rewards and no money; AJ received no sentencing and no fees. But Cody got something way better than cash or vengeance. He got a bunch of adults - powerful, fancy, important, real-real-life adults - to proclaim that AJ was wrong, and Cody is right. Whoa.
Oh, Cody, I totally get you, bro. There are no words (dramatic gangsta silence).
Basically, Cody received the highest gesture of intellectual and emotional validation available today. As a fellow brain-washing-survivor (is that even a thing?) - a fellow kool-aid drinker who'd been meticulously trained to question, deny, and betray her own reality - I imagine this affirming moment was deeply healing.
Like really, though - seriously healing. It was for me, and I was just a listener. Thanks Cody and This American Life. You guys rock my face off.
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Below is a video (not to be confused with the podcast-Cody-AJ-episode) that explains a few basics about social influence. It's interesting to see how we're all candidates for mind control.Think you're immune to brainwashing? Maybe you are, Mr. I'm-the-exceptional-idealistic-Unicorn.